My New Lifetime Love
by SalSassy
Summary: story that's been sitting on my hard drive for a year and a half. Not sure if this is the end of it or not. Completely AU and Trigger Warnings!Rated M simply because of possible triggers


"You know the last thing she asked me? Before everything went bad, she asked me how much I loved her. I didn't even respond. I should've told her the truth" he didn't try to stop the tears from running down his face. For the first time in a long time he prayed. Prayed that she'd live, prayed that she'd be okay, prayed that he'd have the courage to tell her the truth, and prayed that he wouldn't have to mourn another person that he cared for.

_2007_

_Gibbs couldn't believe that he let her walk out of his life. He sat at his kitchen table nursing a beer until he felt his eyes get heavy. He trudged over to the couch and plopped down. Gibbs laid on the couch staring at his ceiling. He couldn't get her out of his mind. He couldn't stop seeing her long blonde hair, that curls slightly at the bottom when she starts to sweat. Her piercing green eyes could make any man, himself included, fall to their knees. The small mole that sits on her upper lip that goes unnoticed when she wears lipstick. The laugh lines around her eyes and mouth brought her beauty to life. Her sweet smile always made his heart melt. Her body was a mixture of soft skin with well-trained muscles underneath. Just being in her presence always made everything better. She wasn't like Jenny, Diane, Stephanie, Rebecca, or Shannon. She was Hollis and she held his heart in her hands. He would always fall victim to her because she made him want to be a better man. She made him want to try and love again. And she was the only woman that he ever considered trying to have a family with. Now, he laid on his couch regretting letting her leave. He wanted her back. He needed her back. _

_Hollis sat in her bathtub sobbing. She thought that her love was enough. For 5 months, she gave this man her everything. She told him everything, even the horrible stuff. She let him in her heart, mind, soul, and body. She let him forge a bond with her children. She always let him in with no problem, but he kept shutting her out. Now, she sits at home nursing a broken heart. She wanted it all with him and he couldn't wait to let her go. Every memory of him was now swimming in her tears as they streamed down her face. Tonight she would rid her psyche of him and tomorrow it'll be as if nothing happened. _

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_(still in 2007) _

_Their case on Sharif was hitting a snag and frustration was setting in. Gibbs suggested that they call it a night just as Hollis got a phone call. "Cheyenne what are you—no –I need to pick up my car from the Navy yard and then—" Gibbs tapped her arm and she looked over at him as he mouthed (I can drop you off). "Fine. I'm on the way now." Hollis hung up the phone and looked out the window. "Thank you Gibbs." "It's not problem. Is everything okay?" She shook her head, "Yeah. My ex's sister needs to get back to their family restaurant. She's watching my kids." Gibbs gave her a small smile. "You have children?" She took a photo out of her wallet to show him, "I have three. I got pregnant with triplets. Two boys and a girl. My son Rizzo is autistic, my other son Russo is a bit of a menace, and my daughter Carla asks a lot of questions. She doesn't like not knowing what's going on." Gibbs chuckled, "Triplets? You don't even look like you've ever had a baby." Hollis looked at him, "How would you know?" "Well, I consider myself a body language expert?" Hollis knew she had him then, "You study everyone's body or just mine?" "Well—" he stopped speaking and looked over at her cocky grin. Tony and Ziva sat in the backseat watching the scene unfold before them. Hollis pointed out directions to her home as Gibbs drove. They pulled up to a nice house in Alexandria. "You don't live on base Colonel Mann?" Gibbs asked teasing her. She smiled at him, "I do but my children don't. When I don't have to be on base, I'm here. I have the one luxury of my ex working for the FBI. With my job, I won't allow for my children to be a target. My ex's job has its dangers, but not as much as mine." Gibbs remained silent as she got out the car. She leaned down to the window and gave him a flirty glance, "Thanks for the ride Jethro." Those cobalt blue eyes of his locked with hers, "Anytime Hollis." Gibbs watched as she walked towards the home and closed the door behind her. Ziva jumped out the backseat and into the front seat just before Gibbs pulled off. _

_They ended their case and Gibbs was in his basement, as usual, working on his boat. He heard the sound of her heels as she descended the staircase. She walked over to him slowly and went behind him to place a bag on the table. The smell of delicious food made his mouth water. He put the sander down and walked over to where she was standing. He stood right behind her and looked over her shoulder as she plated their food. He leaned over her shoulder more, her honey and lemon scented body wash was trapped invading his sense of smell, "What's that?" She leaned back slightly and smirked. "It's dinner. I made some coconut salmon served over stir-fry. I figured that all you had today was maybe a cold sub and coffee." "Thank you for dinner. It smells amazing." Hollis turned around and looked up at him, "You're welcome." He reached for the bourbon but her small, soft hand stopped him. She leaned closer to him, "No bourbon this time. I brought something else. I brought white wine." His grimace made her laugh hysterically. She poured liquid into one of his mason jars, "Taste it." Gibbs glared at her as he drank the offered drink; he smiled at her, "Rum." "Did you really think I'd force you to drink wine Jethro?" _

_They ate in comfortable silence until Gibbs spoke up, "Besides your job, you can cook, hold your liquor, and you can be sporty. Why would a man let you go?" She shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe because that man wasn't prepared for a woman like me." Gibbs watched her body language, "Your ex-husband?" She shook her head no, "My ex-husband was furious that we couldn't have children together, so he cheated. 9 years and a different relationship later…he was the one with the reproductive problem, not me. My ex-boyfriend is the father of my children. Now, we co-parent very well and I think he's on his potential 6__th__ ex-wife by now." "6?" Gibbs asked laughing. "Yeah, he's the marrying type…but oddly enough, not the husband type. He's a good guy that needs to steer clear of weddings." Gibbs decided to change the subject, "Now that dinner is done, what's next?" Hollis leaned back on her elbows and looked at him through hooded eyes and long lashes, "I believe that we agreed that once Shariff was dealt with that we would…interfere." Gibbs moved away from his boat and over towards her. He lifted her to sit on top of the wooden table. He leaned in close to her, "Are you sure about this?" She pulled him close and locked her legs around his waist, "My kids are with their dad for the weekend. So, Agent Gibbs, it's time for interference." _

_That was all the confirmation he needed. He kissed her slowly and her whining spurred him on to torture her. He pushed his body weight on her, she leaned back further and used her hands to bring him with her. He took a hand away from her body and put it in place just as her head hit it. Gibbs pulled away first, nipping her bottom lip, "I'm not torturing you—yet—and I don't want you to have sawdust in places it shouldn't be in. We're taking this upstairs." Hollis squealed a girlish laugh when he picked her up and she laughed the whole way to up the basement stairs. When he got to the kitchen, she jumped out of his arms and turned her back to him. She pulled her shirt over her head and threw it back at him. The black top hit his chest before landing on the floor at his feet. He stood motionless as she slipped her jeans off and kicked them behind her. Gibbs had no clue that an Army Colonel wore such sexy lingerie. The dark red satin and lace bra and thong made him lick his dry lips. She walked towards the couch, thankful that his blinds were closed, and sat down. "Do you want me to take off the rest or are you going to help me?" Gibbs rushed over to her and lifted her up. He started kissing and biting her neck when she straddled his lap. Her soft skin was too intoxicating not to taste and touch. Gibbs moved his bites down to her cleavage. He bit the swells that were spilling out of the push-up bra. Reaching behind her to unclasp the bra, he sucked her tight nipple into his mouth while his hand gave the other one needed attention. "L.J. mmm right there. Don't stop." Hollis grinded up and down on his lap. She pushed her thong to the side and grabbed his free hand. She rubbed his fingers across her wet core and whimpered at the contact. Gibbs pulled away and looked up at her, "I run this show." "Not a chance." He didn't say anything and made her next words halt as he pushed her back on the couch and buried his face between her legs. He snaked his tongue inside of her greedy body. She tasted so sweet that he couldn't get enough. Gibbs knew from experience that he was very skilled with his mouth; unlike previous lovers and wives, Hollis didn't run from him—instead she pulled him in to her closer. Their joining was rough at the start but mellowed out towards the end. The first time he thrusted into her warm body, he nearly came on the spot. Sharif was a bad moment for him and Hollis understood that he wouldn't initially be gentle. What surprised her was how he looked at her when he suddenly took her slowly. He never stopped looking at her or telling her how beautiful she was every time he kissed her. _

_The next morning revealed an unexpected surprise for the both of them. Hollis woke up first, pulled on his shirt, and went into the kitchen to hunt for food. She found the ingredients to make a sandwich for them and decided to make them hot. Gibbs woke up to find Hollis humming to herself, wearing his shirt that engulfed her small frame, cooking in his kitchen. He watched her from afar for a little while, until she turned around and caught him. Hollis walked over to give him a sweet kiss. "Good morning Jethro." That one night of unbridled passion and that morning of happiness jumpstarted what they both thought would be their future. _

_Months later was the first time that she'd made the official introduction between her boyfriend and her children. The Fourth of July, yet another holiday that Gibbs stopped celebrating after Kelly and Shannon, was to be celebrated at Hollis' home. She'd bought hundreds of dollars-worth of fireworks because the kids loved them. She figured that he'd want a steak, just like most men did, so she did a lot of grocery shopping. Amongst the kids, Hollis invited Gibbs, her ex, co-workers from CID and the Army, her two older brothers, and Ziva David. Russo and Rizzo took to Gibbs immediately as they dragged him out to a football game that already had the rest of the men and boys. He good-naturedly gave in and played the game like any other normal person. Carla had many questions for him but settled with asking Ziva a myriad of questions. Hollis called Ziva into the kitchen with her, Carla, and the other wives and girlfriends. Ziva helped prepare side dishes while she answered all of Carla's questions without missing a beat. Ziva explained to a curious 8-year-old, the best she could, as to why she didn't celebrate the 4__th__ of July. Carla wasn't offended, but actually more intrigued by the mysterious Israeli woman. _

_Outside the football game was winding down. The kids were the only ones playing now that the men smelled grilled bratwurst. David, Hollis' ex-boyfriend, pulled Gibbs over to the side. He'd watched Gibbs from the moment he walked into the cookout. "You're good for her." Gibbs didn't say anything at first, as he saw Hollis through a kitchen window. He let the silence pass just as slow as he let the beer slide down his throat. He looked at David out the side of his eye. "Why weren't you right for her?" The naturally tan man didn't hesitate, "I didn't want to ruin her. Hollis is an incredible woman. I've been married quite a few times. To be honest, at the time my maturity wasn't on the level that she was. I was running through women…marrying and getting divorced when they got too close. Hollis was my friend first, girlfriend second. She was my friend during my second marriage and she still is to this day. I couldn't let her be another mistake for me, so I let her go. She blessed me with 3 beautiful children and the greatest gift I could give her was to let her be free. You look at her that way she deserves. Our kids are well-mannered, but they don't take to people well…they like you. I think that the two of you will be fine, but if I'm wrong, please, please don't let her be a mistake for you." Gibbs was actually speechless; the similarities between him and David resonated deep within him. He looked through that same window to find Hollis looking at him with a small smile. When the fireworks started, Hollis and kids were all reclined against Gibbs. Long after everyone was left, he patiently helped her tuck all three of them in before they went to bed. 2007 was their year, or so they thought. _

_(2008) _

_Just three days shy of a year, their relationship evaporated as if it never happened. Director Shepard, Stephanie, and the case brought everything to a head. She felt like she did with David all over again. She couldn't change the fact that Shannon and Kelly were murdered. For his sake, she wished that she could. The reality was that Hollis didn't think that she could save him because he wasn't ready to be saved. "How much do you love me L.J?...his non-answer spoke volumes. She loved him so much, but she loved herself more…so she left. He wormed his way into her heart—into her children's heart—yet they weren't worth fighting for. She chose a more flexible position in Hawaii training potential CID personnel. Hollis filled any free time she had with work, so she didn't have to think about Gibbs. 4,780 miles away, Gibbs filled his free time in his basement pretending to be over her. The light at the end of the tunnel was his bond with her kids. He was just as attached to them as they were to him. When they visited their father, David always made sure that they spent time with him before going back with their mother. He taught the boys how to woodwork while Carla taught him some of her mom's recipes. Hollis pretended not to know how much time they spent with him. Part of it was because it brought them so much joy and the other part was the fact that she found out small tidbits of information on him._

_(2016) _

_The day started off as any other in the bullpen….work and more work. The noticeable differences were the new faces situated in the bullpen. Ziva took a consulting job, now that her and DiNozzo were married parents of small children. Eleanor Bishop took her place across from Tony. Leon Vance now replaced Jenny in the Director's office. The changes were major, but their effect waned on slowly. The initial shock was long gone as the dust settled. The only thing that could still make him unsettled was her. After 8 years, she was the only wild card to his predictable life. Since their breakup years prior, Gibbs mostly saw pictures except for the 2 times that the DoD sent her to assist in a joint investigation with NCIS. Both times, he avoided her like the plague, he left her to work primarily with Tony and McGee. He was being a coward but one look from her and he'd give in instantly. The third time…he'd wished that he was in the same space as her. _

_He rushed down to Abby's lab at her tearful plea. She explained to him that she didn't know where it came from or what it actually was. Gibbs saw the first full minute of the video and demanded that it be sent up to Vance's office to be watched in private. Gibbs, Bishop, McGee, Ducky, Tony, and Abby all marched up to Vance's office. One look at Abby's face and Vance secured his office and put the video on the plasma screen. The video was unclear at first, but then it was suddenly crystal clear. It started out as pictures of Hollis alone. They were her CID days, then they were her on base with some friends, then her with Gibbs. Those photos were of them at a crime scene before they got really personal. They were pictures of the two of them in intimate positions. There were even pictures of the two of them with her kids. Gibbs' jaw was tight with tension. The pictures turned into a camera feed of Hollis walking towards her car. She looked around as if she could feel someone watching her. She turned just as a litany of bullets went in her direction. Hollis got hit three times, from what they could see, drew her weapon and emptied her clip before she hit the ground. She was hit in the leg, hip, and torso. There was so much blood around her. They could hear someone crying and yelling. They all thought that Hollis would be left there to die but she wasn't. She was hogtied and dragged away. _

_The next image that they saw was Hollis shackled face down on a metal table. She was naked, covered in dried blood, bruises littered her small frame, and she was shivering. One of the men came into view of the camera and proceeded to rape her. Abby and Bishop both buried their faces in their hands. Hollis never made a sound but the tears rolling down her face let them see her pain. Gibbs never took her his eyes off the screen, even after she was raped by a 5__th__ man. Abby ran out after the 2__nd__ man moved towards her. They taunted her, but she didn't give in. When they gave her a reprieve from the beating, she tried to turn her head towards the camera. She whispered, "LJ if you hear this….please…please DON'T come." The video feed cut out and Gibbs turned to face everyone in the room. "Find her! Find something!" he barked out. Vance saw the rims around his eyes and he told everyone to leave them alone. "Gibbs-" "She was already down. Why rape and beat her after she'd already taken three bullets. I know that voice and that yelling. Leon her daughter was there with her at the car." "Gibbs I-" "No! That little girl has been a part of my life for 8 years, I know her voice anywhere. She was there and terrified. Leon, we have to find them." "And we will. Gibbs, we don't know if this video is current." Gibbs called in every favor that he could and even went as far as talking to David to get any information. _

_The car came to an abrupt stop in front of a coffee shop. Before McGee could get out of the car, Hollis' two sons got into their vehicles and drove off. Gibbs pulled up in front of a townhouse. He ran up the stairs and pounded on the door. He was just about to kick it in when Carla, Hollis' now 16-year-old daughter, came up the stairs. She took her earbuds out and went for a hug. His rigid posture stopped her, "What's wrong LJ?" "Can we go inside?" "Uh yeah sure. I think my dad caught a case this morning and my brothers will be gone for the weekend." She put her things down and stared at him the same way her mom always did. "What aren't you saying LJ? Gibbs, don't BS me, what's going on?" He couldn't explain it, so he showed her the first 5 minutes of the video. "Carla, I know that's you crying. Where is she? I can help but you have to tell me what you know" he pleaded with her. Carla sat down on the futon, "Oh my God, LJ you don't know?" Gibbs was confused, "I don't know what?" "LJ that video is like 7 or 8 years old. CID helped D.C. Metro find her. The guy that set the whole thing up was the brother of someone named Sharif I think. I thought you knew and that you were just giving her a breather. Ziva came around for a bit—especially after" "After what?" Gibbs asked as he held her hand. Carla blinked the tears back, "You should ask her." Carla wrote down an address and gave it to him. _

_Gibbs sent everyone back to the office and drove to the address. The house was beautiful and the neighborhood was quiet. He held a shaky hand up to the door and rang the bell. He heard a quiet shuffling of feet before the door opened. For the first time all day, he could breathe. What he didn't expect was the surge of emotion that came out of him when he saw her face. Hollis stood arms-length from him and she looked physically fine. She'd cut her hair up to her shoulders and she was a little bit heavier in weight—but in a good way. "LJ? What's wrong?" His eyes filled with tears and he crushed her body into his. A surprised and stunned Hollis could barely move her arms, but she managed to get them both in her home. She maneuvered them over to the couch and held him to her. Gibbs was relieved that she was okay right now. He was letting out everything in that moment. He was letting out every disappointment, every loss, every horrible feeling, and every regret as he sobbed into Hollis' arms. She leaned back on the couch and pulled him with her. She held him without saying a word until he was ready to make that first move. He eventually stopped sobbing and tried to push himself out of her embrace. She let him go but stopped him before he could leave. "What's going on? We're in the same room in years, you're sobbing—which is something I've never seen, then you just want to walk out with no explanation. What's going on?" He hesitated before speaking, "I saw a video Holly. It didn't make any sense when it first started. There were photos of you—someone was surveilling you—then there was a video. You were being shot at and you got hit" Gibbs saw tears spill down her cheeks, but he couldn't bring himself to say it, so she did. With tears choking her, "Then I was beaten and raped by 5 different men. Did you hear the part where I told you not to come?" Gibbs shook his head yes and she finished talking. "At the time, I didn't want you there because I wanted you to be the one to find Carla. I didn't think that I'd make it out alive and she was all that mattered at the time. I thought that she would hide and find a phone to call you." "Holly, why?" _

_Hollis walked over to her bar and poured them both some scotch, "We were wrong. Sharif did have a brother. He was pissed because I was the one who killed Sharif, so I was the one who had to pay. I know that you've kept in contact with my kids—I'm not mad about it—I'm actually grateful for it. They love you and you are yet another man that is a prominent figure in their lives. I'm eternally grateful for that. Carla was probably the one to tell you where I was. Did she tell you everything?" "She almost did but she said that you should tell me." Hollis drained her scotch and pulled her legs underneath her body, "LJ I need you to really listen to me. I promise you that I had no idea and I—" "Holly what happened?" "Jethro, when I got shot, we lost a baby. I had a miscarriage when Sharif's brother came after me. I had no idea that I was pregnant. I must have gotten pregnant within the last month of us being together. That attack happened 4 months after we broke up. I have physical scars from that attack, but the emotional ones will stick around for a while. I didn't know how to tell you, so I didn't say anything. As soon as I was medically cleared, I sold my house and moved to Hawaii." Gibbs felt his heart hammering inside of his chest. The agony of not knowing that he could've been a father again, Hollis having a miscarriage, her suffering in silence, or him being unaware of the attack at all made him feel like he would pass out. For the first time in years, his hands were trembling "Did Hawaii help?" "It put distance between what happened but no it didn't help. Russo and Rizzo helped but it's was Carla's stories about you that helped me heal. Hearing about you getting back into a groove and the cases you worked were just what the doctor ordered." _

_She nudged his thigh with her foot, but he didn't crack a smile. She leaned up on her knees, "LJ, I'm fine. Don't blame yourself. You didn't know and I made sure that no one told you about it either. I don't want you to put yourself through the trauma thinking about the what-ifs. LJ, if I had died-" "Which you didn't." Hollis put a hand up to silence him, "If I had died…I would've wanted you to help David with the kids. They love you and David respects you; his team are his closet friends, just like you. You and David have a lot of similarities and I would've trusted those two men to raise my kids without hesitation. I didn't want you to have any more bad memories in your head. It happened to me and I've spent so much time trying to get over it." "Do you know what you would've had? A boy or girl?" Hollis shrugged her shoulders, "I never knew. I could lie and say that I wanted another girl but the truth is that I probably would've wanted a boy. I think I wanted a mini version of you running around." She pulled him to her before he could protest again and laid down on the couch. They remained in that position until they both fell asleep. Hollis' son Russo came into the home quietly and saw them sleeping on the couch. He smiled to himself and covered them with a blanket. He went into the kitchen to set the timer on the coffee machine before cleaning up the kitchen and leaving out once again. _

_Hollis woke up first and watched him sleep. For once, he looked like he was somewhat at peace. He woke up at the smell of coffee and shifted his weight off of Hollis. He looked at her before muttering, "Sorry. I'm crushing you." Hollis smiled and sat up. "The great thing about having two sons is that they never get tired of laying all over you. You, LJ, are a feather compared to my boys. I'm pretty sure that one of them made the coffee." They both got off the couch, stretching their limbs, and head into the kitchen. To their surprise, all three of her children were there making breakfast. They smiled at the two adults as if this were a completely normal occurrence. Carla motioned, with her head, for them to leave the kitchen. Hollis complied but Gibbs didn't move, he cleared his throat "Bean? What's going on?" "You need to wash up before breakfast. Where you raised in a barn LJ?" Hollis snickered and Gibbs glared at Carla. _


End file.
